July 7, 1930

This letter has a bit more cursive writing. I will mark these with * and perhaps will be able to fill in the * one day.

With this letter I first realized that Sol, Bassya’s husband, and Philip were friends. How difficult it must have been to be in the same social circles and to see each other often and hide your love. I am glad they did not come up with a secret code to write to each other, but perhaps that would have been easier than the writing I am still trying to decipher.

July 7, 1930 — 10 am

Dearest friend Pinchas:

What shall I say. I have so much to talk to you about — I have so much to tell you — probably what I already told you many a time but feel like telling it over and over again? Is it because I want you to understand exactly what I feel? Oh I know that you understand, then — what is it? I do not know, I only know — that like the drive up the mountains yesterday there is no other way — no turning back … That drive reminds me of our drive in this world — we drove  in a way unknown to us, going we never saw any danger nor knew where it was leading us — when we finally got higher and higher — when we began to realize the danger, there was no turning back we had to keep on going ….

But what is danger when one sits side by side with himself?

July 7, 1930 1:30 pm

Oh day of days — treasure of treasures! I have read your work, Pinchas, read every little line of your three years work — read and thought and then cried — the tears came as if through a storm — hot tears — tears that burned my cheeks — tears that come through feeling — I am happy — I am proud — proud of you my dearest dear. As I read on, I see the progress you’re making and you my Pinchas have told me, that if it were not for me, you could not have written anything of this work. How great it feels to be a part of this work — which is (You.), why should I worry if I find myself in lack of words to describe this feeling — when I know that we can understand each other in silence *

Your own words — how dear are to me the words you have written.

In one of your poems by the name * you say or rather express yourself — * I felt hurt when I read that, you know friend that I can understand and appreciate what you write — and even if no one else understood them, would it not be worthwhile just to write them so that I may read them? Wouldn’t it friend….? Here again I feel like saying things which I shall not write, as usual — but read for yourself what is unwritten — I know you can do it.

There are certain remarks I made in my mind as I read your work and shall tell them to you at the first opportunity. Last night Sol [Bassya’s husband] told me that you had a talk with him you asked him what to do, whether to travel or get married to the “rich girl.” The he remarked “I see Pinchas wants to settle down, he talks a lot of marriage lately.” I told him it wouldn’t be a bad idea. Only you have time yet as you are only 22.

I hardly slept all night I thought and thought — and then, thought some more — and if you want to know what my thoughts were — just think what your thoughts were last night.

I better stop writing, or I’ll be writing things I should not — so good-bye “friend of friends”

Do not forget please — order a Birthday cake, about $2.50, for Sol — let them write out “Happy Birthday Sol-dear from Bassya” and see that a few friends should come down after the meeting. It is Thursday you know.

You know what entered my mind just now? If you could think up some “alphabet” which we could learn and use it — just we two — I would be able to say many a thing which I am trying hard not to say now.

*
Bassya

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.